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Saturday, September 23, 2023

The Artwork of Saying “No” by Saying “Sure”


One thing I’ve realized in my years as a enterprise proprietor—and as an individual—is that the widespread denominator of lots of people’s issues is just not having the ability to say “no.” After we study to say no, we will give attention to shifting ahead, nourish our passions and, most significantly, defend our psychological well being. No good can come from people-pleasing behaviors and consistently denying our personal wants. 

So, why is saying no so onerous? 

Though a great query, it’s a loaded one. Many components play into the reply, together with the easy proven fact that when folks ask for a favor or so that you can take one thing on, a number of feelings come up. Saying no to those requests may be perceived as egocentric—whether or not it’s an inside battle or a battle with saying no to a consumer, coworker, worker or employer. Some folks might take your “no” as not caring about them, or others may even see it as an indication of weak spot.

Take into consideration when you need to inform a consumer that you’re unable to groom their canine for one motive or one other and the way upsetting it sometimes is for each of you. Or perhaps it’s time to inform an worker that their targets for their very own profession don’t align with your enterprise mannequin. It’s a troublesome dialog to have, and it’s one which leaves each of you distressed. Human brains need good, optimistic experiences. We crave the “really feel good” impact that comes from endorphins, and we don’t need to be seen as troublesome. 

That is even more true for people who find themselves part of the service trade. We’ve a picture (a model) to uphold. Society is fast to show a “no” into a nasty evaluate or damaging gossip a couple of enterprise. The worry of the negativity that may fall upon a enterprise performs an enormous function within the problem many enterprise homeowners and workers have saying no. This worry causes a downward spiral as a result of we’re not being true to ourselves, and this fixed combating with ourselves results in burnout. 

Did any of this resonate with you? 

The percentages are stacked in opposition to us with regards to people-pleasing, so it’s no surprise we’ve such a tough time. Saying sure when folks ask us for one thing is extra pure, optimistic and what we’re educated to do when offering a service in as we speak’s society. 

Finally, I received sick of being burnt out, attempting to dwell as much as society’s unrealistic expectations of grooming, and maintaining with the calls for of potential and present workers, so I knew I needed to discover a strategy to change it. An lively change needed to be made to guard my psychological well being. However it doesn’t matter what I learn or did, it by no means appeared to stay, and I all the time discovered myself saying sure after I needed to say no. I adopted ideas and tips precisely as they had been laid out and nonetheless wasn’t seeing outcomes. 

The issue was that I wasn’t using what works for me and my thought processes. I wanted one thing greater than, “Do that repetitively, and alter will come simpler.” It doesn’t matter what I attempted, I saved falling again into previous habits. 

So, I attempted one thing new. I began to interrupt every “no” down. As soon as I outlined the no and the rationale I needed to say it, I might provide you with methods to face behind it. Subsequent, I requested myself: How can I say no however sure on the identical time? Following these steps, I discovered my very own system that works for me. I’m now in a position to say no with out feeling responsible. 

So, simply how can we are saying no with out feeling responsible or giving in? 

Right here a couple of ideas which have labored for me:

1. Listing it out. All of us have an inventory of issues we need to say no to for one motive or one other. Listing them out so they don’t seem to be taking on area in your head. Don’t overthink it; simply begin writing. If you’re an individual who has a tough time concentrating in a single sitting, attempt retaining a pocket book with you or getting into them in your telephone. As you go about your day, jot issues down once they pop up. Take your massive record and slender it down by inserting every merchandise in a class. I often have two classes: private {and professional}.

2. Focus. Choose one listed merchandise to provide you with a gameplan for. This doesn’t should be the merchandise that’s most essential to you. You possibly can choose one thing that could be best to work with for the time being. Typically the simpler ones offers you momentum as you’re employed on them so you’ll be able to construct as much as the tougher ones.

3. Outline your “why.” You will need to perceive why it’s good to say no to this merchandise. Your why will enable you keep on monitor when following by way of along with your no.

4. Plan for adversities. What might pop up that will cease you from following by way of along with your no? Right here’s a useful trace when itemizing these items: It’s often the justifications that you just inform your self, so dig by way of these first.

5. Discover the “sure.” We’re wired to say sure, so why will we really feel that we’ve to work in opposition to that? Give you some alternate options to your no which you can say sure to. These choices have to align with you and your values or else you’ll not persist with saying no. 

6. Apply. Begin these practices instantly. The longer you dwell on them, the tougher they are going to be to implement. 

Pricing is a superb instance of one thing many enterprise homeowners and groomers battle to vary. Elevating costs may be scary as a result of you realize the consumer most likely received’t be pleased with having to pay more cash. Regardless, we have to increase costs for a large number of causes; having the ability to pay aggressive wages, pay for elevated prices, handle inflation, account for advancing talent ranges, and so forth. After we increase costs, we worry battle, getting our emotions harm or dropping shoppers. However these fears are a few of the adversities we must always plan for that might get in the way in which of claiming no.

Now, what sort of sure’s can we give to our shoppers to face behind the worth improve? Can they arrive in additional typically to offset a much bigger improve? Are you able to go shorter with the minimize to elongate the time in between grooms? Are you able to add in an additional service that doesn’t price a lot however provides worth for the consumer? No matter works finest for you and your enterprise mannequin may be the reply to strolling that line between sure and no. When you’ve determined what your sure’s are, you can begin saying no with extra confidence and fewer battle.

This technique has allowed my groomers to grow to be extra assured of their decisions and make saying no a lot simpler. It permits me to make sensible enterprise choices and stand behind them. 

Individuals will all the time have one thing to say, and whereas we can’t management different folks’s reactions, we will management the selections we make behind rising our companies. Make saying no simpler from the beginning so you should have extra time to give attention to the issues that matter to you and make sense for your enterprise. ✂️

Denise Heroux

Denise Heroux has spent 25 years within the grooming trade. She grew to become a enterprise proprietor in 2014, and since then, she has constructed her model to incorporate over 20 workers and three areas ad infinitum for growth. Taking the step into the subsequent chapter of her profession, she has determined to make use of her in depth expertise to assist the enterprise homeowners within the grooming trade. She’s calling this new endeavor “The Bold Groomer,” providing teaching, management, and worker seminars to assist create an amazing grooming enterprise each for the homeowners and their workers.


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